The English Language Around The World

SEVERE PUNISHMENT! ... 'Balls' is also a slang word for testicles

The following are examples of genuine English found around the world on signs, notices etc. Most of them have mistakes, a couple are here just for their amusement value.

University Campus, India:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION.

Hotel bedroom, India:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

Doctor's surgery, India:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, India:
WOMAN'S ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN BAR.

Hotel, India:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL WATER SERVED HERE.

Hotel, Moscow (opposite Russian Orthodox monastery):
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Hotel airconditioner instructions, India:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

Zoo, India:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Poster, USA:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

Restaurant, India:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

Automatic hand dryer in public lavatory, USA:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

Hotel Lobby in Romania:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

Maternity ward, India:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED WITHOUT PERMISSION.

Cemetery, India:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Restaurant menu, Germany:
OUR FOOD LEAVES YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

Tokyo Hotel, Japan:

IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE. IF YOU ARE NOT A PERSON TO DO SUCH THING IS PLEASE NOT TO RED NOTICE.

Shop in Majorca

ENGLISH WELL TALKING

HERE SPEECHING ENGLISH

Temple, India:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Hotel bedroom, India:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS OR OTHER SIMILAR WOMEN INTO YOUR ROOM.

Hotel brochure, India:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, LARGE CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY IT.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Hotel bedroom, India:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID AT ANY HOUR. SHE ALWAY'S HAPPY TO HELP IN ANY WAY

Hotel, India:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE MAID.

Black Forest, Germany:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Supermarket, India:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENT, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

Newspaper, India:
A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.

Hotel, Berlin:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF HAVING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BED, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED

Laundry, India:
LADY'S, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Tourist agency, Czech Republic:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Advertisement for donkey rides, India:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Dentist's advertisement, India:
TEETH FILLED AND EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

Hotel bedroom, India:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO BOMBAY, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.